I could tell by the story headline in yesterday's newspaper, "Doughnut Flakes In Car Test Positive For Meth", it was going to be an interesting read. A 64 year old man was arrested during a traffic stop when officers spotted four tiny flakes of donut glaze on his floorboard and thought they were pieces of crystal methamphetamine. The man told police he had eaten Krispy Kreme donuts in his car, but somehow the flakes tested positive for meth in the roadside drug tests. I'm not making this up. He spent ten hours in jail before being released and three days later the charges were dropped.
Whoa, hold the phone! I have inhaled my share of glazed Krispy Kremes in my car and to think that could get me a stint in the pokey is unreal. I tried to tell you people I had an addiction!
If you've ever had a glazed Krispy Kreme donut when the "Hot Now" neon sign is flashing, you know where I'm coming from. For those of you poor souls without a KK, there is a conveyor belt that carries the lushious lovelies through their sugar glaze bath. Once you score your fix, the melt in your mouth, hot, gooey goodness is dangerous. A half dozen can disappear in an instant and before you know it you're on a sugar high and as if that's not bad enough, now you have to be on the lookout for the Fuzz?!?! I've heard of the food police, but since there is no such thing as pig-out prison or junk-food jail, I didn't really worry about it. Now that arrest is actually possible, I'm going to have to give up the junk or resign myself to a life of crime.
It looks like I'll have to give up the Krispy Kremes for good. I'm not cut out for the thug life.
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