Little Miss Stuffit
by Gina Hodges
Little Miss Stuffit sat on her tuffet
eating her cakes and pies
When she overate, along came more weight
which went straight to her hips and her thighs.
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Monday, September 2, 2013
Gym Class
I never cared for Gym Class. Take an overweight teenager, stuff her into a hideous, one-piece, red gym uniform and ask her to perform feats of strength and endurance. Oh how I envied the girls who could run and jump and glide gracefully with their ponytails flowing...while I huffed and puffed like a river dancing hippo.
It's hard to narrow down which part of Gym I disliked the most. Each semester held it's own misery. One semester was Field and Track and gave us Field Hockey, Archery, and Cross Country....oh, the torture that was Cross Country. I think I may hold the school record for slowest time running Cross Country. Running may be an overstatement.
Another semester was dedicated to Gymnastics. Trampoline, balance beam, the horse, parallel bars, un-parallel bars...all torture devices waiting to maim and kill. We also did tumbling in Gymnastics. My worse day in Gym was during a tumbling class. The Coach explained what we were going to do. One girl would be on her hands and knees on the mat. We would take a running start and when we reached that girl, we would spring over her head-first, doing a forward roll. A running forward roll. Over a live person.
As soon as the Coach explained it, I did not know how I could possibly perform this act. I watched as girl after girl sprinted up to the human barrier, floated over her, rolling gracefully on the other side. I told the Coach I could not do this. I had never done a running forward roll in my life. She said I had to try it. So off I galloped toward the waiting girl (I pray she wasn't looking) I leaped up in the air and crashed down right on top of that poor helpless child. My pride was bruised, but my neck wasn't broken. And that girl...I think it was her worse day in gym class too.
It's hard to narrow down which part of Gym I disliked the most. Each semester held it's own misery. One semester was Field and Track and gave us Field Hockey, Archery, and Cross Country....oh, the torture that was Cross Country. I think I may hold the school record for slowest time running Cross Country. Running may be an overstatement.
Another semester was dedicated to Gymnastics. Trampoline, balance beam, the horse, parallel bars, un-parallel bars...all torture devices waiting to maim and kill. We also did tumbling in Gymnastics. My worse day in Gym was during a tumbling class. The Coach explained what we were going to do. One girl would be on her hands and knees on the mat. We would take a running start and when we reached that girl, we would spring over her head-first, doing a forward roll. A running forward roll. Over a live person.
As soon as the Coach explained it, I did not know how I could possibly perform this act. I watched as girl after girl sprinted up to the human barrier, floated over her, rolling gracefully on the other side. I told the Coach I could not do this. I had never done a running forward roll in my life. She said I had to try it. So off I galloped toward the waiting girl (I pray she wasn't looking) I leaped up in the air and crashed down right on top of that poor helpless child. My pride was bruised, but my neck wasn't broken. And that girl...I think it was her worse day in gym class too.
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